NUMB -- intro

numb
introduction.


those who rather not believe they felt
would grow cold when there is no warmth
they will wonder when situations would come hotter
but when they touch it, it won't falter..
it seems as if living with numbness was a sin..
but in the end would rather not believe what they felt...

In all of my twenty four years on this earth, today was the day when I realized, something was seriously wrong with me. My feet were stuck to the ground the moment I heard the thud that broke me from my slumber, after hours of being in a standing six to five job, five hours of sleep was getting it's best of me. Ten PM had hit and it seemed as if the nighttime had adapted to the crevices and corners of my apartment and sheated demons in every darkened one that followed.

With my feet planted firmly to the ground, disorientation settled in with sleep from my crusted eyes as my body lifted from three mattresses and groaned within standing to my full six foot height. I blinked a few times, recognizing my situation had become even more dire to brighten the situation I was in -- breaking glass sounded clearly in the deafened hum that the appliances in my apartment graced the walls with, and I knew then that someone was intruding.

Moments before, sleep had encased my body and although I had always been the child to have troubles disguishing dreams from reality, something was telling me that this was not a dream.

Something was going to happen, and something was going to happen whether I kept standing here, or if I kept moving.

Intuition pushed me towards the door. Common sense made me hold the side of my jogging pants, and cold steel pressed into my hip. My body pushed into the shadows, threatened away the sheated demons, and found myself in the crossroads of life and death ---

"Barry?"

My own name hit the drums of my ears, making my guard push down. I closed my eyes, pushed my shirt down, and relaxed my composure. Standing in the middle of my living room, in the centre of broken glass and demons from the darkness, was my nineteen year old cousin and my six year old neighbor, in the midst of cuts, glass, and what appeared to be dried tears.

However, I stood there, alone, watching. Not moving, not saying a thing. I've seen too much and gone through too many traumatic experiences to even be moved. I had endured so much, it was no shock that I grew numb.