22.4.09

ohiseeiseethat

put ur arms around me
rock me
my body
ur body
it goes deep like cliff diving
nd i love u
nd when we go there
we go there
its kinda rare
it pulls me
to lull thee
and ur eyes close
like ur countin sheep
nd i ward u off from sleep
and u hum and hiss and tell me
that u love me
and u feel me
and u need me
nd im sure i need u
and i kno i do
theres no fronting boo
this is chemistry
complex like trigonometry
circular in mutuality like geometry
i simply love thee
nd all that we will continue 2 b
from now until eternity

undertheinfluenceof<3 pt4

i`m all smiles. :D :D :D
happy happy happy, his heartbeat is my favourite beat.
i rock to the instrumental of those hums and those moans
and those groans you know the ones that really turn me on
i like it he likes that i need a beat to go with this track
i probably can get my wanye on
insane on
like a ringtone i`ll be turned on
or you can silence me in the moment when i get loud
cause i`ll go on and i`ll go on and i`ll go on, and you`ll go on and on like that erykah badu song
wait hold on i heard that before well i think maybe ive seen you before
hm maybe in another life next lifetime somethin right
but you`re somethin nice and me im wifey and im kinda nice
i`m kinda the one thats that kinda type that keeps you up at night and that all your friends like :D

um

LMFAO yeah....

:D man i want a beat to go with that lemme go off the top my head with somethin else

im the one that makes all the wrongs right i`m keeshii not kee-shay
its not what you say what he say what she say its what i say
its my way
we can go my way all night and day
all day and night all through the night i can make you explode like dynomite
nd you can use that wayne lyric bout my piharana bite
but i`m not gettin explicit cause i`m not tht type
of girl
i am the type of girl that gets silly in the moment and can come off in a whirlwind
i can your toes curl but you already been
there
before
and if u wanna go some more we can go some more
we aint gotta front nope, just close the door

okay anyway..

lmfao. im fuckin STARVING, like omfg eaghaoghaoghaoghaogha last thing i ate was... a cookie at... like... ummm, roughly 11ish? or something? lol. DAMNIT TWITTER BE KILLIN ME WITH THESE LATE UPDATES SENT TO MY PHONE lmfao.

um, i`m rambling, [hence this being a drabble] cuz i dunno really what.. to write a note about but i been feelin` like i aint wrote a note in a while cuz i been tweetin my ASSS off -- follow me! [@gimmedunkaroos ] but i can say that....

i love my FB relationship status; lol. <3 <3 <3

soooo! ... okay. i`m planning for my our future. and.. right now, now we`re tryna get jobs. so we can move somewhere together. so we can save up for our kid in ... who should b here by.. summer 2012 lol. ahhh, its fricken refreshing omg. shoo i know what i want nd life is like.. i dont wanna say BORING exactly but i need a motivation to do somethin big nd i`m pretty sure havin a kid is gonna be so worth it when that time comes so i wanna prepare nd be ready cuz im ready lol

i`m [falsetto]ready!![/falsetto]

but real talk, in this little spot in the back of my mind about.. august '07 when i met him, never woulda imagined at the time those little thoughts you get when you want something and your mind goes on these tangents and sets these scenarios placing you somewhere with that person in the future would become a reality... damn i love him, and even then if i wasnt sure we`d be more than just -friends nd after losing his way not once but twice, coming back to me, baby you`re a keeper, you`re so fucking worth it, THE BEST, make it work for US because i DAMN sure got your back 100 % and i`m STANDING ON IT! i`m always here and will always love you. no one can ake that away, whatever i wanna do, you need, we want, we will GET, i will TRY, i will sacrifice, I WILL DO, because that`s what YOU got when YOU decided to give ME a chance and let ME prove myself to YOU, trust me, you`ve made a good choice in me.. <3

and i`m sure i made the right one with you...

NUMB -- intro

numb
introduction.


those who rather not believe they felt
would grow cold when there is no warmth
they will wonder when situations would come hotter
but when they touch it, it won't falter..
it seems as if living with numbness was a sin..
but in the end would rather not believe what they felt...


In all of my twenty four years on this earth, today was the day when I realized, something was seriously wrong with me. My feet were stuck to the ground the moment I heard the thud that broke me from my slumber, after hours of being in a standing six to five job, five hours of sleep was getting it's best of me. Ten PM had hit and it seemed as if the nighttime had adapted to the crevices and corners of my apartment and sheated demons in every darkened one that followed.

With my feet planted firmly to the ground, disorientation settled in with sleep from my crusted eyes as my body lifted from three mattresses and groaned within standing to my full six foot height. I blinked a few times, recognizing my situation had become even more dire to brighten the situation I was in -- breaking glass sounded clearly in the deafened hum that the appliances in my apartment graced the walls with, and I knew then that someone was intruding.

Moments before, sleep had encased my body and although I had always been the child to have troubles disguishing dreams from reality, something was telling me that this was not a dream.

Something was going to happen, and something was going to happen whether I kept standing here, or if I kept moving.

Intuition pushed me towards the door. Common sense made me hold the side of my jogging pants, and cold steel pressed into my hip. My body pushed into the shadows, threatened away the sheated demons, and found myself in the crossroads of life and death ---

"Barry?"

My own name hit the drums of my ears, making my guard push down. I closed my eyes, pushed my shirt down, and relaxed my composure. Standing in the middle of my living room, in the centre of broken glass and demons from the darkness, was my nineteen year old cousin and my six year old neighbor, in the midst of cuts, glass, and what appeared to be dried tears.

However, I stood there, alone, watching. Not moving, not saying a thing. I've seen too much and gone through too many traumatic experiences to even be moved. I had endured so much, it was no shock that I grew numb.

10.4.09

release

theres something inside me i need to release
this feeling about you i need to increase
because inside, its not going to decrease
like a panic button im hittin the release
im feenin quite often when it comes to you
slamming my hand down to get thru to you
its this desire buildin up but i kno the feelin is mutual
nd the sensation that comes along however eventual
you should already know, i`m a habitual individual that crave these feelings that comes along with those touches that are oh so sensual
these glances that expands into somethin so mental
visceral, intensity that makes your hips jerk forward cause my touch is fundimental
to your health to get you off its somewhat instrumental
release monumental
you`re craving for me, cause i`m supplemental to your every move
when i`m like this with these words its only an interlude
cause when i put these hands where i really want them to
and we move, you move, we move, and then we groove
i approve
because each time we`ll simply improve
and each little touch is strategic like a chess move
and i`m a pawn in your hand
and with this plan i`m on a mission
connecting myself to neverland...

im still falln

i fell in love with you again last night
and when it came to the moment when it was fly or die, ride or die, wrong or right
you were reachin` the breaking point and we`d been at it all night
and that shit felt right, it felt madd good
gave me a vibe that i thought you never could
gave me these thoughts, i thought you never would
end up like this, got my legs shaking for you and all i got was a kiss
now you`re parting your lips, baby thats bliss
sweet on your tongue and makes you mend into me a hiss
see its on high, baby i`m high
when i`m around you i`m wondering why i`m not in the sky
you give me these feelings to act on while i`m in this mood
while i`m tryna get you in the nude
alright, i`ll stop being kinda rude, but you`re the kinda dude tht makes me
fall for you, over, over, thru the hoods we go back to the streets and the seat where our bodies go
we rest, i've done it already no need to impress,
sit back and lemme press my hands to your chest,
let me ride it out, lemme catch my breath,
lemme keep falling...

head

got a trick up my sleeve and a thought in my head
fingers directing me in directions that would often seem mislead
and with you, its funny cause we aint gotta even impress
with the way you got me its nothin more done or nothin less
and when it comes to you, i love that i can be a sloth with you
and when you`re up in rome boy you do as the romans do
gravitate to the bottom and ill stay up at the head
enjoy the head; have your body stiff like lead
i know all i wanna do is spread
but instead
i`m tryna get all in your head
and dont let my emotions be mislead
instead understand me or tears i`ll shed
and treat me like a thoroughbred and thrust full steam ahead
dont leave no word unsaid
or no touch embedded into what'll give me dread
cause my emotions will most likely drop dead
like the living dead
but i`ll get into bed, in love heels over head...
<3

undertheinfluenceof<3 pt3

damn its only been since wed nd i miss him already.
he puts a smile on my face by sayin` nearly nothing..
just that cut of view towards my way when he`s about to go
makes me pout; makes my insides flutter without a doubt;
but he purses his lips, pulls me closer and doesn`t stop;
and in this embrace i trace my thoughts back down the scenic route
he`s just something i can`t part with or want to be without...

__________________

i`m anticipating the moment you arrive
when i smile, after a few seconds ill sigh
and inside
it happens every single time
i get those butterflies and your eyes gravitate to mines
this smile spreads slowly like fire like the one in your eyes
those browns light up and spark something natural in mines
nd i`m lovestoned, i think you know
oh yeah, you know...
i think this high you put me on is better when you put me on.
now its only been about an hour or two since we got up off the phone
and its something about you that makes me glad that for when we be alone
and we can go on and on and on about whatever turns us on and on and on and
we can rejoice and use our voices in a tone that speaks magnitudes
like an interlude to what we`re bout to do and
im glad that its you, baby its you, you`re the one and damn, you know what you do...

eep! i love him <3 :D

i just wanna TOUCH YOU, but i`m so....far away. [drabble] / undertheinfluenceof♥ pt2

all i wanna do is, give you all of me now.

im thinkin bout..
two am, when people who run in the streets are laden with sin and
i was here; you were next to me, there
i was pressed into your arms, face nuzzled towards your hair

i can`t recall what we were doin` at three, but does that matter anymore?
probably something stupid, i think you pushed me on the floor...
or tried anyway... anyway, thats somethin i ignore.

now its about, four.
and i`m gettin antsy.
tryna keep my hands to myself, but they`re tryna get nasty.

tryna figure where to go next cause any two people can simply fuck,
not tryna be too explicit, but you know i`m implicit with where my hands go
where my lips go
how i`ll pull you closer to me so you don`t let go
and when you let me know
that its TIME to go
that we should gone and switch positions so we can..

well, YOU KNOW...

so, i get into myself, or rather you get into me
and i`m all into your body like some vitamin c..

i need some place to put my lips, my legs, my eyes, this shirt is kinda stickin` to me, we should.. move, lemme push you back -- hm, we`re gonna fall off the bed...

then somethin happens and i`m aireborne like a virus

fingertips touch
and my back arches
and my head goes down
and i swirl, push back, my words jumble my mind stutters my lips fix into an o shape and i gasp, hold on tight and stutter; my eyes flutter -- and i find you in the dark....

holding on strong like you`re tryna be my rock
and its you im tryna climb while i make it to the top
and i ... realize this moment is once again gettin me hot..

damn..

and your kisses are vicious they`re malicious but i need them to survive cause that feeling is purely nutrious, on monday we part ways, by thursday im feenin, but me and you both know we`re married on the weekends <3>

survey!

Can you take this without deleting any questions?
yep.

What's going on between you and the last person you kissed?
[remix] yup thats my boyfriend [/remix]

Is there someone you have feelings for?
yesss.

What was your worst mistake in your life?
um, ......

What's something you really want right now, be honest?
MCDONALDS AND TROJANS! -dead-

Does anything on your body hurt right now?
um, not really.

What are you listening to right now?
the ghost of you - my chemical romance

Whats a quote from a song that you like?
i never said i`d lie and wait forever / if i knew we`d be together / i can`t always just forget her / but she could tryyyyyyyyy

Have you ever punched a hole in the wall?
actually yeah..

Do you know someone in prison?
mhm.

Who was the last person to sleep in your bed besides you and when?
denzel; last night

Where were you at 2:00 this morning?
*ponders*... um, buried into denny's shoulder watchn -- no, hiding -- from the quarantine shit lol

What is your underwear color?
pink and white.

Anywhere you'd rather be right now?
back at home sleep, or at mcdonalds. i want some mcdonalds, wtf so bad lmfao

Are you going anywhere for the next summer?
the next summer? idk...

Do you have plans today?
um, i`m on a mission for mcdonalds and trojans. LMFAO

Are you waiting for anyone to call right now?
not right now, but later i`m sure.

Will you call them if they don't call?
later yeah.

Where did you get the shirt you are wearing?
aeropostale

Where are your jeans from?
my jeans are frommmmm....fuck, i can`t remember lmfao

When was the last time you were told you were amazing?
day before yesterday actually :D

Do you know anyone that smokes weed?
yep

Have you ever kissed anyone whose name started with a C?
yep

Do your parents force you to go to church or let you make the decision?
church? nope. i went for a baptism though and was waiting for someone to smite me or something...

When it comes to the opposite sex, what's your "type"?
the alive kind? lmfao

How long does it take you to shower n get ready?
the quickest i`ve ever gotten showered and dressed in was like seven minutes. i didn`t say everything was correctly put on, but thats a record right there for you lol

How has the week been?
well its monday... um, sunday was okay i guess..

Are you slowly drifting away from someone?
hm, yeah. but that's life.

Did anyone see you kiss the last person you kissed?
if someone was woke; which i`m sure someone was yeah-- but idk.

When a friend walks out of your life, do you go after them or let them go?
depends. but if they`re a friend, mostly i`d go after them? if they`re worth it.

Have you ever fallen asleep in someones arms?
mhm yep.

Do you still talk to the person you last kissed?
yeah i do, i wonder what he's doing...

Does anyone hate you?
i`m pretty sure someone does. oh well. life goes on.

Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?
it depends on what they did the first time to fuck up.

Have you ever seen your best friend cry?
yep. not recently tho.

Do you dance in the car?
either that, or headbang.

Do you walk around naked?
LMFAO doesn't everyone?

Could you go the rest of your life with-out alcohol?
sure.

Do you like having serious conversations?
depends. i`ll probably cry or get mad depending on the subject.

Are your parents over the age of 40?
nope lol